[dramatic music]
♪
- Come here.
Son of a... Get back here.
[grunting]
No, don't--don't-- all right, all right.
No, wait! Don't you--
I-I've got--
I've...
Got...
[grunting]
Ha!
I got you. I--
- Talk to me, goose.
- [screams]
- Goose?
- Yeah, I'm--I'm maverick. Get it?
- No.
- "tower, this is ghost rider
Requesting a flyby"?
You know, it kind of takes the fun out of things
If I have to explain it.
- Oh, I can see how that could happen.
- Right.
Did you find grant's flask?
- Sort of. There's just, um...
One thing.
[blam!]
- One? Try hundreds.
Hundreds and hundreds of things.
[blam!] Agh!
We're looking for a flask
At a civil war reenactment.
A place where all flasks go to die.
A world where everyone has a flask.
[cannon blasts]
- Hey, that sounds like cannon fire.
- Brilliant. There's that college education
Rearing its head.
What do you want, and why did you call me?
- Oh, right. Urgent.
Do you know where Artie keeps
The tiny little marshmallows?
'cause he won't tell me.
[laughing] like he needs marshmallows, right?
- Hey, Pete?
- Yeah.
Yeah, you know, that Artie.
He's--he's looking pretty good these days,
Don't you think?
- It's all the exercise I get chasing artifacts
Without any help.
Ahh...Ahh...
Ah-choo! Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Oh, man, Artie. [artifact buzzing]
That cold sounds like it's getting worse.
You should be resting.
- It's a very good idea, resting.
If only I were paying somebody to help me
With this kind of thing.
- I know, right? Well, Claudia'll be back soon.
- Yeah. [artifact buzzing]
[Artie grunting]
[artifact buzzing]
Who made this thing?
- Tch.
[intercom buzzes]
[buzzing continues]
- Talk to me, goose.
- Huh?
- What, did no one see top gun?
- Pete, there's someone here to meet you.
- Oh, yeah. Sorry, Leena.
I'm kinda busy right now.
- She says she's your ex-wife, Pete.
[ominous chord]
- Ah-choo!
Pete?
[mysterious music]
♪
- Hey, Myka.
- 27 hours to dubai.
I'm back.
And I know, I know that I should've gone
To the Warehouse first, but--
- Myka. - I needed b&b and my bed.
- Myk--
- How did this even get to dubai anyway?
I mean, it's not like dubai looks like dakota
On the packing slip, okay?
And--[sniffs] is that me?
Oh, my god, I smell. I smell, don't I?
Okay, so shower.
Shower and then nap and then Warehouse.
- But Myka, I have somebody that I'd like you to meet.
Myka, this is amanda.
- Amanda Lattimer. Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Oh, it's--it's so nice to meet you.
I'm Myka Bering.
Amanda Lattimer.
Well, you're not Pete's...
[laughs nervously] ...Mom.
And you're not his sister, 'cause his sister--
But are you-- are you his cousin?
- No, no. I'm not his cousin.
And I'll be changing the name.
I'm his-- [door slams]
- Amanda.
Amanda. And--and--
And Myka, you're back.
And--and you guys--
[tensely] You guys have met.
Ohhh, that's great.
- Well, amanda new-last-name
Was just telling me that she's your
Not-cousin.
- She's not.
[chuckles] That's right.
Um, amanda, Myka's...
Probably really tired, and--
- No, I'm fine. I'm--
- [sniffs] needs to shower.
- What?
- So let's, uh, step over this way, shall we?
- But I-I would--
- Oh, here we go. Look at this room.
- I would--
I would just like to properly welcome your--
[doors slam]
That's rude.
Okay, spill.
- So what are you doing
In the middle of south dakota, marine?
- Oh, uh, I got-- I got reassigned.
- Reassigned. - Mm-hmm.
- Here, from d.C. Mm-hmm.
That's a punishment. What'd you do this time?
- No, no, no, no. No, no.
- Oh, please. - No, I--
No, I didn't do anything.
- Mm-hmm. - Well, no, wait.
I--that's-- let me--
I did something, but it was a good thing, okay?
That's why I'm here.
- Whatever it was, I'm sure it wasn't intentional.
- Uh, no, it wa--
It's a--it was-- it's a promotion.
- A promotion to "you-nee-ville."
- "uhn-eh-ville."
And what are you doing in univille, anyway?
- Oh.
[laughs] Oh.
I found something that belongs to you.
- Shut it.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
legendmakers, first edition?
Ha, ha, ha!
- Okay, how do you do that?
And just like that, you're a 12-year-old boy.
- Ohhh.
I never thought that I would see this again.
[smooches]
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Okay.
- Ah, man.
- Anyway, so I should, um--
I should go.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Hey, amanda. - Yeah?
- Are you gonna tell me why you're really here?
[tender music]
- It's disconcerting how well we know each other,
Isn't it?
Um...
I'm getting remarried.
- W-wow.
Remarried?
That's awesome. That's amaz--
That's terrific.
- Thanks.
- Congratulations.
So when is the wedding?
- Tomorrow, actually. - It's tomorrow!
That's--oh, that's--
Tomorrow.
- I would've told you sooner,
But apparently, I have to get clearance
To talk to my ex-husband now.
You have no idea the kind of governmental hoops
I had to jump through to get here.
- You know what? I don't know if I can...
Get away on such short notice.
- Oh, sorry, Pete. I, um--
I didn't come here to invite you.
I came to get my grandfather's ring.
- Oh.
The ring. The ring, that's right.
You know what? I still have that, don't I?
- I'm sorry. - No, no, no, no, no.
No, please, I-- let me, uh--
It's, um-- it's upstairs.
I'll go get it, okay?
[door opens]
[eerie chords]
[thrumming]
[door opens]
- Ah--ah-choo!
- Bless you.
- Oh. Oh, hi.
Uh, sorry.
I-I was just looking for--
Pete's wife.
I mean, you're-- uh, ex-wife.
Pete's ex-wife that we actually didn't know he had.
- Just amanda would be fine.
And you are?
- [blows nose] oh, sorry.
I'm, uh--I'm sorry. Ar--arthur.
Artie. [stammers]
You don't want to--
Uh, I-I was actually just looking
For, um, Myka.
I was looking--or Leena. Leena would do.
- How 'bout me? Would I do?
- Oh, hi. [laughs] hi!
He's--I wasn't--
I was looking for--
- Me!
He was looking for me because I'm back.
- Right, exactly. She's back.
I wanted to welcome her back.
- Well, now you've seen her.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- You've seen her. She's seen you.
Everybody's seen everybody.
So now everybody is gonna go.
Here we go.
Out the do'. Buh-bye.
So long.
Atta boy.
[clicking]
[whirring]
Nothing to see. Nothing to see.
- All right, all right.
- [whispering] married? You were married?
- I don't believe you.
Can't I have any privacy around here?
And you-- - Me?
- Sneaking around.
- I'm not sneaking.
There was no sneaking. Sneaking!
- Married. I mean, how long--
- Okay, okay, okay. Show's over.
- He is absolutely right.
Myka, I am ashamed of you.
Nosing around like that.
This man--this man needs his privacy.
Huh-huh.
- Married. - Ah-choo!
- Bless you. How could you not--
- Go. - What?
- Upstairs, now. Go, go, go, go.
[whirring and clicking]
Sorry about that.
They're, uh-- I was gonna say "butt pains,"
But okay.
[sighs]
Oh.
Uh...
So this is it, huh?
Our, uh, our reason for seeing each other.
- Well, I guess this is it.
- Uh, look, amanda.
You pretty much missed out
On the whole amends part of my life.
I mean, not--
Not that you were exactly around, either.
So I guess I--
I guess I never thought
That I was gonna have to do this.
[sighs]
And now that I hear it out loud, it...
Sounds like such a cop-out.
The thing is, um,
The reason that I never have...
[sighs]
Is because you're the hardest one
To make amends to.
I really screwed us up.
Amanda, I'm sorry.
- Thanks.
And listen, Pete, it's--
It's water under the bridge.
And I think everything worked out for the best.
- I guess so.
[goofy voice] Now what about this guy?
[both laugh]
What's--it's not--
It's not anyone I know, is it?
- Of course not.
- Oh, god, thanks for that.
He's the one, though, huh?
- Yeah, he really is.
I mean, not that you weren't.
It's just-- it's different this time.
You know, michael, he's sweet and charming--
- You had me at yes. Shhhht.
So let's-- [makes creaking sound]--
Shut 'er down.
- Oh, I'm just-- I'm just excited
About the wedding.
- I know.
- You know, fairy tale and castle.
I mean, it's a rented castle in the poconos,
But still.
Um, I've been one of a few good men
For a long time,
So I'm ready to just be a princess for a day.
- Well, you deserve it.
The prince and the fairy tale.
All of it.
- [clears throat]
[metal clinks]
[clears throat]
Thanks, Pete.
- Yeah.
Be happy, amanda.
- I will be.
[ominous music]
♪
- Well, why was she here?
Alimony?
- Are you two striking up the band again, or...
- What? No. She's getting remarried.
- [together] what? Why didn't she just call?
That doesn't make sense at all.
- Stop. That's why I didn't tell you, okay?
I don't want to talk about it.
- [inaudible]
- Ah...
- Pete, you're-- you're right.
- Ah-choo! - I'm sorry.
Your private life is none of our business.
We shouldn't have intruded.
- [sniffs]
You know...
It wasn't just one thing.
I mean, mostly, it was because we were...
Just too young.
Least, I was too young.
Amanda was-- I mean, she was very driven.
She always knew exactly what she wanted.
It's what the marines call a-a hard charger.
Oh, man.
She was...
[laughs] ...Amazing.
I mean, of course she's a major now.
And--and I...
...Was not amazing.
I-I didn't know what I wanted,
And I definitely wasn't ready
For a lifetime commitment.
I mean, not then.
Now I-I just wonder.
- If it could've worked?
- Yeah.
No.
Maybe.
No.
- Uh, people?
We have a problem.
- One beehive, one bee.
- We are missing the bee.
I don't know what the bee does,
But if it was in Warehouse 2,
We can bet it was probably something bizarre
And deadly.
We'd better find it now.
- Okay, look. I-I came in here.
And I put the beehive right here.
- Right, right.
I remember because--
[gasps]
- [snaps]
You gasped.
You rarely gasp.
- Pete's right. Why did you gasp?
- Leena? - Amanda.
Amanda's bag was right there.
- [sniffs]
Pollen.
If amanda somehow triggered the latch...
Then the bee...
Could've fallen right into--
- No!
No, no, no, no, no!
An artifact did not fall into my ex-wife's bag
On her way to her perfect fairy-tale wedding.
No, that did not happen.
- Artie's law of artifacts states
The worst thing that can happen with an artifact
Will happen with an artifact.
- It's in amanda's bag.
- Now you can panic. - [groans]
[indistinct chatter]
[cell phone rings]
[ringing continues]
[bee buzzes]
- Amanda.
[phone beeps off]
Hey.
- There's my future husband.
[laughs] Hi.
- Welcome back. I missed you.
- I missed you, too.
Oh, look, I got the ring.
- Great.
[bee buzzing]
- Ow!
- You all right? - Yeah, just...
- Oh, there's the bride at last.
And I need to talk to you about the caterer.
I think he's a complete idiot.
- Okay.
Guess I'll see you at the altar.
- Whew.
[eerie music]
[cannon blasts]
[fife playing "battle hymn of the republic"]
- Fire!
[men shouting]
[cannon blasts]
- And after the whole hoopla
With the inter-dimensional space,
I realized what I really wanted was to be a Warehouse agent.
[horse whinnies]
So what about you?
What's your story?
- You know my story.
A.T.F., jimi hendrix' guitar,
And the first time I saw Artie's eyebrows.
- No, I mean, like, before all that.
- Well, before all that is the past.
Which is where I'd like to keep it.
- Oh, well, word of warning:
At the Warehouse,
The past doesn't always stay in the past.
Literally.
Did I mention we have a time machine?
- [laughing] why doesn't that surprise me?
Look, it isn't here.
- [sighs] are you sure?
- Silver flasks, gold flasks, wooden flasks,
Flasks with flaps, flasks with knobs.
- I get it. Lotta flasks.
- Look, we've been through this trunk twice,
And none of them match the description,
So why don't we just shut this whole shindig down?
We'll flash badges, and we'll body-search 'til we find it.
- Because that's not what we do.
I mean, Warehouse agents, uh, we use stealth.
We're stealthy.
I mean, can you imagine how these nut jobs would react
When they find out that somebody has ulysses s. Grant's flask?
The guys are carrying real bayonets!
- Exactly, and if one of them drinks from it,
And he starts believing that he's fighting that war
While he's carrying a bayonet,
Artie said at the last reenactment--
- I know, the reenactor with the flask
Went postal and stabbed two soldiers.
I know, but we still use stealth.
Just really, really fast stealth.
- So then what's the plan, o stealthy one?
- I--listen, I don't exactly have a--
Oh.
[cannon blasts]
[indistinct chatter]
- Why do I feel like laverne?
- Oh, no, you're not laverne. I'm laverne.
You're shirley.
- Oh, I am not shirley.
- [on farnsworth] I've been doing a little digging
To find--ah... Ah-choo!
[sniff] uh, to find out what this beehive artifact
Actually does.
I'm a little rusty on my hieroglyphics, so--
And no age jokes, please.
So it make take me a little time.
- Okay, Artie, just-- just let us know.
[Farnsworth beeps off]
[birds chirping]
- Wow.
This is a lot nicer
Than the "love me tender" chapel in vegas.
- Oh, tell me you didn't.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- That is the dress. Oh, my gosh.
- You were supposed to bring something blue.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- No, I was supposed to bring the garter.
- No, I was supposed-- - You got it confused.
- [whistles]
Ow.
- Oh, amanda, you look so beautiful.
- This thing's getting worse.
Look at that.
- Oh, god, on your wedding day.
- What did you do? - That looks awful.
- Amanda...
You poor thing.
- I'll get you a band-aid.
- Triple antibiotic. You need triple antibiotic.
- Okay.
- Ten-hut!
[heels click] - Marines!
- Major!
[laughing] Amanda.
- [laughs]
- You look great, major.
- I'm so glad you made it.
- Sir, you look fantastic.
- Oh, thanks, guys. [laughs]
- It's ma'am.
- [laughs]
So glad you guys are here.
- You should sit down and rest, major.
Put your feet up.
- [laughing] no, I'm okay, thanks.
- You need to conserve your energy.
- I'll get you a chair.
- No, I'm good, guys.
Excuse me.
Pete-- uh, Myka, right?
What are you doing here?
- Wow.
You--you--you look--
Wow. [laughs]
- Amanda, we're really sorry to intrude,
But, uh--
- We have a little problem.
[eerie music]
Um, can we talk to you for a minute?
- So what's with the parade?
Is this what happens when you become an officer?
- It's the bridal party.
Marines take their job seriously.
- I was a marine. I was never a stalker.
- Okay, is there somewhere we can talk privately?
- Oh.
- So exciting.
- Oh, no, it's mike's parents.
His mother doesn't know how to end a sentence,
Let alone a conversation. Just do me a favor.
I have to talk to my friends for a minute,
So just take care of the martins for me, all right?
I don't care what you have to do.
Just keep 'em away from me.
Let's go in here.
- Hello. What's going on?
Is this some sort of marine thing?
- We're looking for our son.
Oof!
- Oh, no! - [screams]
[both screaming]
- So what is the problem?
- We can't tell you.
- Why not?
- We can't tell you.
- It's just that when you were at the b & b,
Something got loose.
- Got loo-- what kind of something?
- Uh, we can't tell you that, either.
- Pete, if this is about me getting remarried--
- Wait, wait, whoa.
What? No, okay? Scout's honor.
- You were kicked out of the scouts when you were ten.
- I did not start that fire.
- Look, amanda, trust me.
This isn't about you.
- Then why are you here?
- Look, it's need-to-know, major.
And you don't need to know.
- Fine, fine.
Whatever this problem is,
What are you gonna do to fix it?
Or can you not tell me that, either?
- We just need to search your bag.
It's actually that bag.
Pete?
It's a great dress.
Really.
Sorry.
- [gasps]
My sandy alomar junior signed baseball?
- Backup plan.
I wasn't sure the comic book would work.
So does this have something to do with your new job?
Why you're in "you-nee-ville"?
- "uh-neh-ville."
- So you weren't lying. It really is a promotion.
- Ha-ha! Ha, ha, ha!
[humming triumphantly]
Behold!
[chuckles] Bee-hold.
- Bee-hold, I-- - Yeah.
- All right, yeah.
Um, you might, uh, you might wanna duck.
[beeping]
- Welp, there you go. Bam.
Well, no dead bodies, no mass destruction,
No swarm of killer bees, although I gotta tell ya,
It did cross my mind.
- So much for Artie's law.
- What was that? Some kind of weapon?
- Uh, that is your wedding being saved.
- Okay, so the good news is, is that it is over.
- All right, then. Thank you for...
Taking care of whatever that was.
- Yeah, yeah. Um, no worries.
Listen, uh, we're sorry to barge in like that.
And, uh, you shalln't see me again.
[nervous chuckle]
- Pete.
Um, could I talk to you for a second?
- I'm gonna go see if there's a moat.
I hope there's a moat because I really--
I love the-- the moats.
- She loves moats.
- Chaaarrrge!
[men shouting]
- Well, now that we're stealthy,
Do you have any ideas how to find this flask
In a haystack?
- I don't know, mingle?
See if there's anyone here
Taking this whole reenactment business too seriously?
- Run, ya scurvy yanks, run!
- [screaming wildly]
- I kinda think showing up covers that category.
- Okay, nix the negativity, all right, sand master?
Think of it like when you were a kid, you know?
Get into it.
Oh, what, there was no make-believe
In your mysterious past?
I say we hoist a musket and enter the fray.
- And I say that we talk to that guy.
[cannon blasts]
- Did you know the guy who hit you?
- It was private johnson.
Guy went crazy right in the middle of a skirmish.
Started punchin' other players
And hitting 'em with the butt of his rifle.
I mean, we have rules against that sort of thing.
- Was he drinking out of a flask?
- Well, I--you know, I suppose so.
I mean, we all are.
[chuckles] It's about half the fun.
- [grunts]
- You're dead, rebel! - Huh?
- So are you, yank!
- [groaning]
Long live abe lincoln!
[chokes]
- What? I'm getting into this.
- Hey, lie down.
You're dead.
- Huh? No. Oh, no, I'm not dead.
I'm just-- I'm just wounded.
Yeah, oh, in the leg, I think.
Yeah, it's--it's cool. I can still fight.
- Hey, do you know how much it cost
To defoliate these trees
To make it look like the battle of shiloh?
We're committed professionals.
And you, rebel dog, are dead.
- All right.
Don't get your long johns in a bunch.
I'm going.
- So, now, if you're dead,
Does that mean you're still the senior agent here?
- Just find johnson.
Look for the craziest guy out here.
- So Pete,
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, too.
What you said back at "you-nee-ville"--
- "uh-neh-ville." - Stop that.
- Right.
- It wasn't all your fault.
I--
It was easy at the time to blame your drinking,
But...
Takes two to screw up a tango.
- Yeah, well, I was never really much of a pacino.
I was more of a tom cruise, you know.
- Yeah, you're maverick. I remember.
- Thank you.
- The thing is...
Back then, I just...
I just wanted so much. I wanted to do so much.
And I couldn't let anything get in my way,
Including you.
Maybe if I hadn't been so headstrong...
Who knows?
- Yeah.
But hey. [laughs]
Look at you now, major.
Um, got your cinderella dress.
I've never seen you look happier.
I-I think-- I think things worked out
Exactly the way they were supposed to.
[door opens]
- Amanda, have you seen my parents?
I can't find them anywhere.
Hey. - Hey.
- Aren't you-- isn't he, uh--
- Pete, yeah.
- Pete. - Yes.
- Glad you could make it. Good to finally meet ya.
- Oh, well, you just had to be nice, didn't you?
- Pete was--
- Listen, michael, uh,
You got yourself a fine little major there, so.
- Thank you.
[sad music]
- Why don't you and I go find your parents?
- Yeah.
- I am just dying to chat with your mom.
- So that was the groom, huh?
- Yeah, can you believe it?
- Well, your ex definitely has a type.
- [laughs] uh, what?
You think that guy looks like me,
With the hair and the square jaw
And the captain america attitude?
Please.
I'm so much cooler than that.
- It's the weirdest thing.
My folks, they just disappeared.
- We'll find them, michael, all right?
Nobody gets in or out of here until we do.
- [sighs] I'm gonna go look for them.
You just stay here and do
Whatever it is that brides do, okay?
- And when we find them, at exactly 1500 hours,
Come hell or high water
Or in-laws or exes,
We are getting married.
And I'll finally be mrs. Michael martin.
- And I will finally own you, woman.
- [snickers]
[echoing voice] No one gets in or out of here.
- [echoing voice] I'll finally own you, woman.
- Come on, let's go.
- Okay.
- Whoa, hi.
Excuse us.
- Nobody in or out. - That's what she said.
- Okay.
Excuse u--
Look, marines.
There's no reason to get worked up here.
We were just leaving, and I--
- Pete? - I'm all right.
- No, no, I mean, Pete!
- Nice hats.
- Run!
- [both screaming]
[ominous music]
♪
[door slams] - Help me!
[grunts]
[banging on door]
- Artie's law. - Oh, yeah.
- [high-pitched voice] "it's a wedding, Pete.
Why would we need our teslas?"
- What is this, Pete?
- [grunts]
Where'd the rest of them go?
- What the hell is happening?
Michael is out there, and his parents.
- I'm sorry, but right now,
I'm worried about the guys with swords.
- Spit it out, Lattimer.
I assume this is all being caused by your little
Top-secret whatever-it-is.
- I told you, need-to-know.
- Given that we're being attacked
By my own wedding party,
I'm pretty sure I need to know.
- The beehive artifact once belonged to a female pharaoh
Who ruled egypt around 1479 b.C.E.,
Hatshepsut.
- Bless you. - Uh, what? No.
That wasn't a sneeze.
That was the female pharaoh's name, hatshepsut.
So hatshepsut created the artifact
Using the pheromones of honey bees.
- Well, beehive, bee. It makes sense.
- Yes, and then she would prick herself with the bee
And then inject the stinger, really, into her body.
- She became the queen bee.
- Precisely. Ah-choo!
- What about her?
- What about who?
- You--you just said hatshepsut.
- Oh, no, that-- that was a sneeze.
- Wait, you-- you said stinger.
Artie, you-- you did say stinger.
Okay, Artie, I'm looking at this bee,
And there is no stinger.
[ominous music]
- Fire! [cannons blast]
[men shouting]
- Forward!
- Die, scum!
Come on, you rebel dog!
- Dude, what the hell? I shot you.
- Come on, you rebel dog. Fight like a man.
- Come on, man, put the gun down.
I killed you.
- You mock me, traitor.
But I shall be victorious for my great country!
- No, no, no.
I have come to aid you, brother.
Together we will-- - To hell with this.
- Hey!
Johnson, listen.
I'm not actually a reenactor.
The truth is you've got something very dangerous.
Agh!
- Die, scum!
- Stop!
[Southern accent] Stop, sir, I beg of you.
You would not raise your hand against a lady,
Would you?
- I would never harm a woman.
But I intend to kill this scurvy grayback.
- 'fraid not. - [grunting]
- Told you I was laverne.
Such a laverne move.
[laughing] Come on, shirley.
- [grunts]
- What? Oh, the mini-tesla?
It's my own design. It's pretty cool, huh?
Dude, that should be your drag name, minnie tesla.
[sighs] Okay, they have these outfits
For the female reenactors.
I figured if I could--
What? What? What'd I do?
- No, uh, no, no, no, no.
It's not--it's-- nothing, it's not you.
It's just that for a second there,
You were a lot like my big sister.
You know, she used to save my butt a lot
When we were little.
- So you do have a past.
And a sister. Well, tell.
What's she like? Where's she live?
What's she do? Details.
- No, she...
Well, she died, claud, a while back.
[sad music]
- How do I always do that with you?
God, I'm sorry, jinksy.
- It's okay, really.
It's, uh, it's all good.
Right, well, let's, um,
Snag it and bag it and get the hell outta here.
What all else do you have in there?
- I got a pb&j, if you're hungry.
- Forget I asked.
- Damn trekkies.
Always crashing the party,
Pretending they're time-travelers.
- Pft, what a nerd.
- Tell me you found it.
- Sort of.
Uh, amanda's been stung.
- Did she touch anyone?
- Aside from her whole bridal party, no.
- I'm thinking the finger is the source of the infection,
So don't let her touch anyone else with it.
- Artie, we checked her finger.
There's no sign of the stinger.
- Yeah, it makes its way through the body.
It targets the glands,
And it causes the pheromone production.
And then, whenever she touches anyone,
She immediately creates these worker bees
Who become slavishly devoted
To her every need and protection.
- Is that why they're chasing us?
- [chuckling] well, you know, probably.
Because you're seen as a threat.
And--oh, wait, wait, wait.
Yes, yes.
It appears that things
Went very badly for hatshepsut.
You know, I'm-- I-I must say,
I'm rather impressed with how quickly my, uh,
Hieroglyphic reading skills have come back to me.
- Artie, just please figure out how to get the stinger out.
- Consider it done.
- I'm gonna go find michael.
- Wait, no, no, no, no, no.
No, it's too dangerous, okay?
Everything's gonna be fine. I promise.
We'll figure this out, even if I have to--
[snaps] X-ray.
That's what we'll do. We'll x-ray her.
It'll show us where the stinger is.
All we have to do is get her to the hospital,
Find the stinger, and get it out.
- That's great. That's a great idea.
I don't suppose you packed any tear gas
To get past the homicidal bridal party, did ya?
- I left it in my other pants.
- [sighs]
- Ugh!
[sneaky music]
♪
- Stop, stop!
- [women grunting]
- Stop!
What are they doing?
- What are they doing?
- Well, don't look at it.
We'll--we'll fix it later.
First we gotta get out of here. Come on!
- Those chairs are rented.
- Amanda!
- Come on! - [women grunting]
- Amanda!
Amanda!
- Michael! Mike--stop!
- Oof!
- As your pharaoh--pharaohess, I command you to stop!
[Marines] - Hup, hup, hup.
- Obviously, that means something completely different
In ancient egyptian.
[Marines] - Hup, hup, hup.
Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup.
Hup, hup, hup. Hup, hup, hup,
Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup...
- What's going on?
- I don't really see them.
[all talking at once]
- Let's go around.
[talking continues]
- I give up. When it comes to this--
- Boogety-boogety?
- Yeah, when it comes to the boogety-boogety,
I'm pretty sure you outrank me.
- Hey, Artie?
- Oh, major, that's so sweet.
- All right, so what's our plan?
- Plan? Right, right. The--the plan--
I will tell you the plan.
I just have to ask Myka a question first.
[whispering urgently] What's the plan?
- So Artie, what's the plan?
Why wouldn't they listen to their queen?
Amanda gave them an order.
- Well, hatshepsut tried the same thing.
But by then, her subjects had become
So obsessively devoted to her
That they just took it on themselves
To protect her from anyone.
- Well, michael's her fiancé.
- Yes, well, her husband-to-be most of all,
Because as a male,
He would have taken her place as pharaoh
If they'd gotten married.
- What did they do to him?
- They...
I think it says mummified him alive,
But I'm a little loopy from the cold medicine.
- No!
- Amanda, no!
- That sounds bad.
- Uh, call me back.
[dramatic music]
♪
Hey, look out!
- Oof!
- Ugh! - [women grunting]
- Oof!
- Ohhhh!
- [men grunting]
- Sandy.
- Thanks. [groans]
- Don't thank me. Go save my fiancé.
- That's something you rarely hear your ex-wife say.
- Ugh!
- This time, stay down.
- Shouldn't you be seating people?
[grunting]
- [groans]
[Farnsworth buzzing]
- Hey, look out!
- Ten-hut!
Really?
[laughs]
- Ugh.
- I found it!
Use the bee. It's a magnet.
It'll draw the stinger out at her left clavicle.
[eerie music]
- Hey, hey, hey!
I said ten-hut! About-face!
We're on our own, kiddo.
- [men grunting]
- Ugh!
- Okay.
Now, this may hurt...
Just a little.
[exhales sharply]
And...
Agh!
[laughs]
- [wedding party groaning]
- You know,
I would have just sent you the ring.
- Yeah. Next time.
- Next time?
[birds chirping]
[Baroque instrumental music]
♪
- [whispering] there was a bit of a problem
With the, um, the bridal party.
- [quietly] mushrooms.
Yeah, yeah, uh, everybody ate wild mushrooms
At their rehearsal brunch
And kinda went on a bad trip,
So it was, uh, ugh. Yeah.
- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...
- You know, I was really hoping I'd hate you.
- Pete!
- Pete. - Ow, what?
What I was trying to say
Was I wanted to hate him,
But then I saw him take on those marines with the chairs.
Hee! Yah! Kah!
It was-- it was epic.
- This one-- this one right here--
Distinguished valor in combat
Using rental furniture.
- Ah. [laughs]
Nice.
- Okay, so this wasn't exactly the, um,
Fairytale wedding that I had pictured,
But it was, um, memorable.
- Yes.
- Thanks, Pete.
And listen, whatever it is that you two do,
It's exactly what you were meant to be doing.
You're a good team.
- All right, well, uh,
At ease, major.
Although I'd have been a colonel by now.
- Oh. - Oh-ho-ho-ho.
- Ohhh. - Yeah, what?
- Ouch, ouch. - Bye.
- And there we go.
Hey, uh...
So listen, I-I just-- I want to say I'm sorry
For not telling you about amanda.
I-I should've.
- No, it's none of my business.
- It wasn't the marriage
That I was trying to keep secret.
It was me.
Um, the guy I was before.
Pete the drunk.
Pete the loser.
- You don't have to--
- No, Myka, it's true.
It's, um--
You've never met that guy,
And I don't ever want you to.
You know, I just--
I want you and Artie and Claudia and everyone here
To know the Pete I am now.
- Fair enough.
- Okay.
- Hey--hey, Pete. That new husband, michael?
He's a tool.
- [sighs]
- That's, um...
That's why I joined the a.T.F.
- I-I didn't-- I was just--
I--
[sighs]
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry, steve.
- It's okay.
She, um...
She was 20. She was your age.
- I-I-I shouldn't have been digging around.
You don't have to talk about it
If you don't want to.
- No, I think that I want to,
Laverne.
You would've liked her.
Yeah, I think you two would've been good pals.
God, she was, um...
Such a hero to me.
She was funny and smart,
And she was always...
Always there for me.
[laughs] There was this one time...
Geez, you know, I--
I think that you would've done the exact same thing.
We were-- we were at the park.
We were shooting hoops. She was, uh--
She was short, but she had this amazing layup.
And these kids came,
And they were gonna beat the crap out of me,
And she disappeared, and then all of a sudden...
[voice fades out]
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